1.16 - Hidden Leaf
We come to a stop where the GPS leads us but there’s nothing here besides a stone mountain used to mark the edge of the game map. Daamin and Kay arrive shortly after us. They exit the van while heavy in a debate about Kamen Rider vs Super Sentai and I can’t be bothered to pretend I know or care what they’re talking about.
“Where’s the code Kay? There’s nothing here,” I can’t hide the annoyance in my voice.
“If you calmed down, I would explain what you’re seeing here,” Kay snaps back.
“Alright, start talking before I start shooting,” I threaten.
“Are guns really necessary,” Daamin asks.
“Thank you Daamin,” Kay smiles a sly smile at me.
Kay rubs the wall entirely too seductively. At least she’s trying to be seductive but it’s doing nothing for me. Kai elbows me as we watch, and the look he gives me makes it known it’s doing nothing for him either. Daamin seems to be standing as if he’s watching the most interesting lecture of all time. Kay finally finishes giving the mountain an erotic massage and faces us with a smile. Then she backs through the mountain.
“What the fuck,” the three of us ask in unison.
Daamin is the first to rush through the mountain after Kay and vanishes. Kai runs through but I hesitate. I don’t know if we can trust Kay and I don’t know what’s behind this mountain. Kai’s hand reaches from the wall, followed by his head. He winks at me and grabs my arm. I close my eyes, but there’s no pain. When I regain my balance, I’m staring at a small wooden building and behind it a massive forest. The trees reach higher than any I’ve ever seen in my life, high enough that they block out the sun behind them.
“I thought Christopher Robin’s forest was the only one in the game,” I say in awe.
“Christopher Reeves’,” Kai corrects me, just as much in awe as I am.
“Christopher Phillips Evans III,” Daamin laughs.
“That’s what we said,” Kai answers.
“Why would you hide this,” I ask Kay.
“It’s a cyberpunk game. Resources should be hoarded by the wealthy leaving the others to fight for the scraps. If anyone bothered to explore the entire map, I’m sure they could have found this place,” she says smugly.
“It’s basically the same way The Grail hides their desert base in Preacher except this is a forest,” Daamin says proudly.
“Never heard of it,” Kay responds as usual.
“Who owns the place,” Kai asks clearly wanting to avoid another argument.
“It’s a shadow organization that provides real wood furniture, luxury items. I never got to flesh it out because I had to devote time and energy to features that people wanted instead. I had to spend time making sure people could brush their teeth and live like The Sims instead of doing stuff like this.”
“Why didn’t you hire assistants?”
“Did Picasso have assistants,” Kay seems annoyed.
“Actually, he did,” I argue but only get a dirty look.
“Greetings,” an NPC park ranger shouts as we get close.
“You went really hard with the costume design on this one, it’s just a regular park ranger,” I whisper to Kay.
“You’re an asshole. I told you I didn’t have time to finish,” Kay responds.
“I see you folks are here to try winning the legendary sword Excalibur,” The Ranger speaks as we get closer.
“I thought we were here for code,” Daamin says.
“The code is in the sword,” Kay says. “But let me guess, you’ve seen that one too?”
“I actually haven’t,” Daamin says which surprises us all.
“The legendary sword Excalibur has been passed down and hidden away many times over the ages,” the Park Ranger speaks as if he’s at a renaissance fair now. “Yet it always seems to return when the world is in great danger. Now rumors are swirling that it has been spotted and can be used to overthrow those would see the destruction of Earth’s precious resources. Even with the sword, remember, the power is yours.”
“You really stole from Captain Planet,” I ask.
“Everyone knows Captain Planet,” Kai adds.
“Didn’t you see the Don Cheedle sketch,” Daamin asks. “Captain Planet is going to kick your ass.”
“Never heard of it,” Kay responds.
“We’ll see about that when you’re a tree,” Kai jokes.
We follow the Park Ranger into the large wooden building where there are several other teams waiting. Some look like NPCs just designed to fill out the ranks of the competition. A boy with an orange jumpsuit arguing with another wearing blue as a girl with pink hair shakes her head annoyed seem to be drawing the most attention but they’re NPCs and just putting on a preprogrammed show.
“It’s a three-person competition, so someone needs to sit this out,” Kai points out as he signs us up.
“I’ll sit out, my avatar isn’t built for fighting, I’m a lover,” Kay says as she smiles at Daamin.
“No. You’ll just run away and we won’t be able get the other pieces of data,” I explain.
“Yeah, you need to be out there,” Kai agrees.
“I won’t run away,” Kay argues.
“We don’t trust you,” Kai shrugs.
“Guys, if she says she’s not going to run away, I believe her,” Daamin says.
“Alright, if she runs away, you get to play bounty hunter while we go on a shopping spree with your credits,” Kai says.
“Deal,” Daamin doesn’t even argue.
I’m really starting to think he and Kay might be in love because this is blowing my mind how far he’s willing to go for her. Kai nudges me and looks to the side but doesn’t make eye contact. A sign that there’s something I need to see. A group of three non NPCs being incredibly weird.
“Momma, poppa, are we going to win,” one of them asks despite all being the same age.
“We’ll do our best,” the only man in the group responds.
I have no idea what I’m looking at but I can’t look any longer. I just know Kay and Daamin are in love because if these people are running around with a fake family in game anything is possible. I’m not going to kink shame them, but it’s weird.
“The rules are very simple,” The Park Ranger begins. “Each team will be given a data drive. What’s on it, is not important. What’s important is that you’ll need two drives to complete the challenge. Half of the teams here will get a Yin Drive, and the other half a Yang Drive. You’ll need both to finish. If you access the data on the drive, your entire team will be disqualified. If you die, it’s not our fault. Once you have both drives, you’ll need to go to the visitor’s center at the center of the forest. You may get the drives any way you can. Trade, steal or fight; it’s all fine. Teams will enter one hour apart. Once all teams have entered you have eight hours to collect both drives and arrive at the center. Teams have been selected at random. Good luck,” The Park Ranger opens the doors and signals for the first team to enter the forest.
“I don’t have to be super into anime to know this is just The Chunin exam from Naruto,” Kai jokes.
“Yeah, she really telephoned this one with the Team 7 NPCs,” I laugh.
“That woman keeps staring at me,” Daamin points at the kinky group Kai and I had been laughing at.
“You’re way too old for us to tell you don’t point at people,” I smack his hand down.
The man in the group makes his way over followed by the two women, “Hello, my name is Kevin. This is my wife Ashley and our daughter Yara,” he extends a handshake to me which I return.
“Our daughter was just admiring your scales,” Ashley says to Daamin.
“Yeah, they’re cool,” Daamin seems bothered by the whole thing.
Kai uses the moment to escape, he’s planning to trade with another group hoping that we can just get the drives and get out. Kay is supposedly in the visitor’s center waiting on our arrival but Daamin is still the only person who trusts her. Daamin and Kevin seem to get along well, they both use swords. Apparently their builds are useless until around level 20 when they can actually do real damage. Daamin favors katanas but Kevin is a classic broadsword kind of guy. I could care less, I just know a sword doesn’t win in a gun fight unless there’s some serious shenanigans going on. There’s no point in trying to trade with this group as they’re legitimately after the sword. They all met in the game and have decided to be a family. At first I thought they just went insane after the we were all trapped in the game. Unfortunately, they were doing this beforehand. Being trapped just gave them a chance to really commit to it. Daamin is really great at fitting in with weird people, because he’s weird. He’s my weird friend, so I don’t mind, but Kevin, Ashly and Yara are not my kind of weird. They’re the kind of weird to let you know they’re swingers after they invite you to dinner at their home. I’m nothing short of grateful when Kai returns.
“Negotiation is pointless,” Kai sighs. “Players are really determined to fight and prove how strong they are. NPCs won’t trade for anything except super rare items so we’re going to have to fight out there.”
“Alright, then we need to go get ready,” I pull Daamin away from the kinky family.
Kai makes the plans for our team. The basics are always the same. I’m the shooter. I kick in the door waving the .44, and people drop. Daamin is a nuisance. He can do a lot of damage if he gets close with the swords but he’s mostly moving around really fast and taking out anyone who doesn’t go down with one shot. Kai plays support. Support players don’t get enough love because most players can heal themselves and support players are rarely flashy. Kai barely ever enters into an actual fight. He hacks stuff, surveys the situation, causes mayhem. If he does enter the fight, nobody will see him. He’s big on stealth and is usually just taking quietly retrieving the objective so Daamin and I can retreat.
Watching him right now is no different. He’s breaking down the odds and different battle strategies to wrap up fights quick that use the environment. We’ve already realized that the area is based on Naruto so Kai plans to use the environment to our advantage in the same way characters did. Even if we’re not using jutsu or ninja tools, we’ve still got a lot of unique sci-fi weapons that can provide some of the same advantages. Watching Kai plan is always exciting to me. He said before he met me most of his gaming time was spent solo on strategy games. It really shows when he starts talking strategy.
“If all else goes to hell, there’s three rules to follow out there. Don’t get separated. It’s a team battle. We can all handle ourselves, but if you come up against three players or three strong NPCs it means nothing. Rule two, don’t panic if we lose a drive, we’ve got plenty of time to get two more. Rule three, if you get knocked out of the game you can’t help get a drive so don’t get knocked out. We’ll retreat to stay alive instead of saving the drive. Any questions,” Kai finishes.
“I’m good,” I shrug.
“I just hope we can get out there soon. Being the last team is a real disadvantage,” Daamin adds.
The park ranger’s bell rings, it’s time for another team enter.
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